


No Regrets

by NamelesslyNightlock



Series: Going Down Swinging [77]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Acceptance, Aromantic Tony Stark, Friends With Benefits, Happy Ending, Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, Pining Loki (Marvel), Self-Worth Issues, Sexual Content, Talking, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Understanding, Worried Loki (Marvel), Worried Tony Stark, mentioned praise kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:49:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26644765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NamelesslyNightlock/pseuds/NamelesslyNightlock
Summary: Tony loves sex with Loki, but he’s afraid that Loki might be starting to fall in love with him. He’s afraid, because that’s not something he can reciprocate– and he doesn’t want to lose what they have.
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark
Series: Going Down Swinging [77]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1330490
Comments: 47
Kudos: 340





	No Regrets

**Author's Note:**

> Massive thanks to **Rabentochter** , **SalamanderInk** , and **Wolfloner** for reading this one over for me ❤︎  
>   
>  **Prompt** — _“There is nothing wrong with you.”_

Tony loved it when Loki fucked him.

It was nothing like fucking anyone else, not even close. Tony had never really been able to put his finger on _why,_ exactly– it wasn’t just because Loki was stronger, more durable, able to go for as many rounds as JARVIS had servers, _and_ capable of using magic so that Tony could go just as long. Nah, it was just… more intense, somehow, more passionate, more—

Well, it just mattered more that it was _Loki._ Tony cared more about Loki’s pleasure than a random stranger’s because he cared more about Loki _,_ because they’d been doing this for quite a while now. Or maybe it was just _because_ they’d been doing it for a while, more than long enough for Loki to have learned _exactly_ what Tony liked, to have learned how to bring him right up to the brink and then keep him there, clinging to the edge of an orgasm with the tips of his fingers.

No one had ever known how to play Tony’s body like Loki, but even so—

It was something _else._

The thought of Loki made Tony hot around the collar far faster than anyone else. Thinking about someone’s mouth on his cock hadn’t caused him to stiffen since college, and yet he only needed to imagine the sight of Loki’s pink lips stretched around his erection, those green eyes looking up at him mischievously as he swallowed and—

_Oh—_

Fuck, Tony needed to stop doing that. He was on a one-way track to getting a boner somewhere inappropriate.

But hey, you get his point, right? Loki was just dragging him into a horny mess, because the sex was fucking _amazing—_

And, to make it even better, sex is all that it was. There was nothing between them that could turn into regret– just pure, satisfying pleasure.

And Tony?

Tony couldn’t get enough of it.

He couldn’t get enough of _Loki._

Tony found himself seeking Loki out whenever he could, taking his hand and pulling him into a heated kiss before dragging him to the bedroom. Loki always went willingly– sometimes, he sought Tony out himself, and _those_ were the moments that Tony honestly loved the most. It felt so fucking _good_ to be wanted—

And, uh. Perhaps that was part of it, as well.

Fuck.

He was so far gone for Loki’s cock that he would even _willingly leave an unfinished project_ in order to take Loki to bed, craving the feeling of Loki pounding into him more than he needed to make his ideas come alive.

That had _never_ happened to him before.

But Loki was like fire, like a raging storm– he was never the same, always intense, _always_ drawing Tony in—

Never making him feel like his skin was starting to itch, like he needed to get away.

So… yeah, Tony couldn’t pin it down to one thing, and he couldn’t really explain it. But Loki was just _different,_ and Tony—

Well.

He knew he was developing something of an addiction, but he didn’t really _care._ Loki was like everything he ever needed, a breath of fresh air, a warmth that burned through him and made him want to hold on all the tighter.

And when things started to change, when Loki’s thrusts began to turn slow, when his touch grew tender, Tony found he didn’t mind. Not only because it almost always turned hard and fast as they neared their ends anyway, but because it was still Loki, and it still felt fucking _good._

Tony doubted there was much Loki could do to him that wouldn’t.

Loki started staying in Tony’s bed overnight– and Tony didn’t mind because—

Morning sex had never really been a thing for him, but _f-u-c-k-i-n-g h-e-l-l_ would he make it a _thing_ if it meant he got to feel like _that_ upon waking up. Loki even started to train him into a goddamn healthy sleeping schedule, tiring him out during the night and waking him up with his mouth on his cock and his fingers stroking over Tony’s ass.

Tony was in _heaven–_ there was no other way to describe it. His life was fucking _awesome,_ and so long as he had Loki in his bed he couldn’t think of anything else he needed.

Loki, though… it would seem that he didn’t see everything the same way.

It started small– perhaps even before Tony realised any kind of shift at all. It started with soft kisses in the mornings, like to the back of his neck while Tony was making his coffee– shows of affection which made Tony spin around with wide eyes, staring as Loki smiled and turned away, as if this were something normal, as if it were…

But Tony didn’t, he _wasn’t—_

And then, it started becoming something else.

Kisses grew soft, turned into being just for the sake of _kissing_ , leaving Tony wanting more but– Loki would _smile._ He’d still let Tony pull him into his bed, and Tony still _adored_ the way Loki would mouth at his skin.

But when the bites and nips and open-mouthed kisses were mixed together with whispered words of love…

Now, don’t misunderstand. Tony _loves_ being praised during sex, there’s little that gets him hard and leaking faster than being told how _good_ he is. But…

Words of love? Vows of devotion? It was just, a little bit _much._

And it was—

Tony might not have minded it, except that he knew exactly what would happen next. It had happened to him before, with other partners who got in a little too deep. It was why he’d been so thrilled with Loki, believing that amazing sex was all this was.

Except, now… Loki had gone and, uh, he was—

They needed to talk.

Usually, Tony would rather bury his head in the sand than face this head on, but he didn’t want things between he and Loki to turn sour. If it was to come to an end, then he’d prefer the end to be clean, so that they could each hold on to the good times without the memories being poisoned.

So, the next evening, when Tony dragged Loki into his bedroom and locked the door, when Loki leaned forward to bring their lips together with a soft, affectionate smile—

Tony took him by the hand to lead him to the bed, and sat down beside him with a serious look.

“Loki,” he said. “Do you mind if I ask you something?”

Loki looked a little confused– and rather understandably so, Tony thought, since it was literally the first time Tony had brought Loki to his bed without immediately working to get Loki hard and ready. But he answered the question despite his bewilderment.

“Of course not, Anthony. Whatever you need.”

Tony swallowed. He’d been so determined, but now that the moment had arrived he felt a slight lump in his throat– because while he didn’t want anything beyond sex with Loki, he didn’t want to _lose_ what he had, either.

So he steeled himself, and he asked– “Loki… what do you think this is between us?”

And as Loki’s expression crumpled, the fond happiness in his gaze shattering into a thousand pieces… Tony knew that he’d been wrong. There _was_ something between them that could turn into regret—

He just hadn’t known what it was.

Tony grimaced, and glanced away– but then, he was surprised by a touch to his hand.

“Anthony?”

The sound of his name had Tony turning, and he met Loki’s gaze. Loki looked so very _worried_ that it made Tony’s gut clench, and he _hated_ what he was doing. But, he knew that if he didn’t, it would only be worse in the long run.

“Anthony, if there is something wrong, tell me. I will do what I can to fix it—”

“This isn’t something that can be fixed,” Tony cut in, his voice perhaps a little harsher than he meant it to be.

And when Loki flinched, Tony knew that he was going to need to explain.

_Properly—_

Or at least, as best as he could. He’d never actually tried, before.

“Lokes, look,” he sighed. “I want you to know that this isn’t something that I can control, okay? There’s always been… something wrong with me, or maybe something broken. I can’t turn it on and off, and it’s not something that changes depending on the person. This isn’t about _you,_ it’s just that… I’ve never been in love, and I never will be. I don’t _do_ romance, I don’t want to. For me, sex is fun, but it’s… it’s not _special._ Not the way that it is for a lot of people.”

Loki’s eyes were wide, and he was silent for a long while. Long enough that it was Tony’s turn to worry, his fingers twisting together—

But then, Loki met his gaze once again– and his expression was _determined._

“You were right,” Loki said. “This can’t be fixed at all.” Tony felt that like a shard of ice to his heart, because even though he’d known it already, hearing Loki say it just drove home just how very _wrong_ he was.

Except—

Loki wasn’t done.

“Anthony, it can’t be fixed because you’re not broken, you never have been. There is _nothing wrong with you.”_

Anthony drew in a sharp breath, eyes widening.

_No._

“But, Loki, aren’t you listening? I don’t– I won’t ever love you, not in the way I think you might be starting to love me—”

“And that’s okay.” Loki’s smile was small, but somehow, it wasn’t sad. “Just because you don’t want romance… that doesn’t mean that _I_ feel any different.”

Tony shook his head, the words not quite computing. “But, I’ll never… how can you want that? How can you want _me,_ knowing that I don’t feel the same?”

It just didn’t make sense– didn’t line up with anything that Tony had ever heard or seen on TV. All the stories always ended if one half of the pair didn’t feel the same as the other.

But Loki seemed to think… that Tony’s lack of feelings didn’t _matter._

“Anthony, I love you,” Loki said. “You are right about that. And I understand if that makes you uncomfortable, or if it’s something that you don’t want. But I love you enough that I can live with you not loving me back– so long as you still want me to be _with_ you.”

Tony didn’t need to think about _that_ one. “I do want to– keep going as we are,” Tony said. “But, I don’t know if I can be _with_ you—”

“Are you going to sleep with someone else?” Loki asked.

And Tony gaped for a second, surprised by Loki’s bluntness– but then, he supposed that he shouldn’t really be. He’d started all of this with pure directness, after all.

So—

“No,” Tony said, speaking the pure and unaltered truth. “I don’t think there’s anyone who could measure up to you. And I…” he paused, not really sure how to explain it, but _wanting_ to explain nonetheless. “I don’t love you the same way you love me, but I– I don’t want to see you hurt, either. I _do_ care about you, you’re more than just a friend, and just because I don’t want a relationship… well, I don’t want to upset you. So even if I _were_ tempted to sleep with someone else, I wouldn’t. If you didn’t want me to. Not right now, while _we_ are sleeping together. And I, I mean. That goes… both ways.”

To be entirely honest, it did make him feel a little selfish. That he wanted to keep Loki all to himself, that he couldn’t _stand_ the thought of Loki fucking someone else when he couldn’t– when he didn’t want all the things that Loki wanted. When Tony didn’t think he would be able to deal with affectionate kisses and cuddling on the couch, at least, not unless it turned into sex pretty toot sweet. When he couldn’t love Loki the way he wanted.

But… Loki was _smiling._

“I meant what I said, Anthony,” Loki said. “So long as it’s just you and me… I want to be with you. That hasn’t changed.” 

Tony examined Loki’s eyes, looking for evidence of hurt or bitterness– of anything that could _turn to regret._

But he found… nothing.

It was like Loki truly didn’t _mind._ He… he still wanted Tony.

And Tony– well, thinking about it, he still didn’t feel any different for Loki than he did for say, Rhodey, or Pepper. And he _did_ like hugs from them, he enjoyed the platonic physical contact. But he was also being honest when he said he didn’t want to have _sex_ with either of them, not when Loki was the only one who could make him feel so very good.

Not when Loki was all he wanted.

It was an odd line to draw, but…

If Loki had understood everything Tony had told him – and hey, Loki was far from stupid – and if Loki was being truthful when he said that he didn’t mind, that he wanted Tony anyway…

Maybe, they could still make this work.

_Maybe._

Being with Loki was something that felt _right,_ so long as he considered it from his own perspective, and not how anyone else would see them.

And for now, Tony thought that a ‘maybe’ was enough to keep fighting for.


End file.
